I am infinitely grateful to you for shining this light - the field you refer to is vast and mostly dark! As an 'establishment insider' (now ret.🙏), I have spent literally decades stupe- and horrified at precisely the widespread malpractice of psychology and psychiatry you describe: Different country, same story!
And it's not even because the more constructive approach is a deeply hidden secret: From Carl Rogers' "unconditional positive regard" to your books, to Marshall Rosenberg's "non-violent communication", to Ross Greene's "Your Explosive Child" ...
Ross became a professional friend of mine, and at one time I confided in him that upon initially coming across his approach (Collaborative Problem Solving), I was delighted at his clarity, but at the same time a bit surprised because his approach struck me as perhaps rather common sense. He looked at me, eyes filled with sad exasperation, and quietly, but with every fibre of his being, exclaimed, "I wish!!"
In a shared moment of subdued desperation, we agreed that the deceptive reality of common sense seems to be that it's not really common at all - and that this truth applies to several tiers!
But I have come to believe that there is a slow, but viable approach to spreading the necessary degree of insight and realization - ESPECIALLY among professionals - an approach which in my country is called, "the ramrod strategy": Keep hammering at the gate - repeating, rephrasing, re-illustrating - until the gate gives way.
And in the case of this field, there is comfort in the fact that every person who suddenly understands the true nature of the field becomes a true ally - now wielding the tools of our trade as they were meant to be applied, and actively working to disseminate her/his/their newfound realizations!
Bless you, thank you for your service, and best wishes,
Chris - thank you very much. I'm retired from the psych world - 99% anyway - and putting my old writing in order here - in hopes that I can tap the "ramrod" just a little deeper.
Very powerful article Ellis, and very informative. Have you come across Non Violent Resistance parenting approach? https://nonviolentresistance.org.uk/
Works on building the relationship and "parental presence" as foundational work before going in to other techniques.
Hi Robert - I took a look at the website, and there appears to be a lot of good information/ideas. But I never can form an opinion on any of these systems until I actually have a chance to see how parents and children interact using its principles. But in principle, at least, I saw a lot that is intriguing.
Dear Ellis,
I am infinitely grateful to you for shining this light - the field you refer to is vast and mostly dark! As an 'establishment insider' (now ret.🙏), I have spent literally decades stupe- and horrified at precisely the widespread malpractice of psychology and psychiatry you describe: Different country, same story!
And it's not even because the more constructive approach is a deeply hidden secret: From Carl Rogers' "unconditional positive regard" to your books, to Marshall Rosenberg's "non-violent communication", to Ross Greene's "Your Explosive Child" ...
Ross became a professional friend of mine, and at one time I confided in him that upon initially coming across his approach (Collaborative Problem Solving), I was delighted at his clarity, but at the same time a bit surprised because his approach struck me as perhaps rather common sense. He looked at me, eyes filled with sad exasperation, and quietly, but with every fibre of his being, exclaimed, "I wish!!"
In a shared moment of subdued desperation, we agreed that the deceptive reality of common sense seems to be that it's not really common at all - and that this truth applies to several tiers!
But I have come to believe that there is a slow, but viable approach to spreading the necessary degree of insight and realization - ESPECIALLY among professionals - an approach which in my country is called, "the ramrod strategy": Keep hammering at the gate - repeating, rephrasing, re-illustrating - until the gate gives way.
And in the case of this field, there is comfort in the fact that every person who suddenly understands the true nature of the field becomes a true ally - now wielding the tools of our trade as they were meant to be applied, and actively working to disseminate her/his/their newfound realizations!
Bless you, thank you for your service, and best wishes,
- Chris
Chris - thank you very much. I'm retired from the psych world - 99% anyway - and putting my old writing in order here - in hopes that I can tap the "ramrod" just a little deeper.
Very powerful article Ellis, and very informative. Have you come across Non Violent Resistance parenting approach? https://nonviolentresistance.org.uk/
Works on building the relationship and "parental presence" as foundational work before going in to other techniques.
Hi Robert - I took a look at the website, and there appears to be a lot of good information/ideas. But I never can form an opinion on any of these systems until I actually have a chance to see how parents and children interact using its principles. But in principle, at least, I saw a lot that is intriguing.